I've been keeping this blog off my line of vision for the past months and it is starting to feel like college again where I get to suppress everything with the threat of exploding any time soon. And writing is my only outlet. To get everything out of my head is the best way to stop things from bothering me and pushing me farther in the deepest, darkest corners of my box.  

And so tonight, I write.

KNOWvember. I've made the word the title of this post as this month allowed me to know about a lot of things. Know about the people existing in my life. Know about the story they carry with them along with some secrets that are kept unsaid, some for years and others recent. Know new people, new set of friends, new connections. Know more about the heart of God. Know more about myself like how I became an introvert and the reasons why and how it buried me deeper into being more silent. Know more about my silence. Know more about His plans. Know more about myself and how I recently learned that I am scattered in the atmosphere and how I am not myself lately.

I should get back to being me. I've realized just last night that certain events for the past months left me scattered in the atmosphere. I am all over the place and it is not good. I am also easily distracted lately. My short attention span has gotten worse in the past two months. I lose my focus easily and get it fluctuating for the rest of the day. 

This is not me. I have to know how to keep myself contained in one place, thinking things one at a time. Get my rhythm back again. It's that time of the year again. I am losing it and this should stop. 

So tonight, I have to know. I should know. And in the process, be better. Function better. Learn about myself more. Know better. Breathe better.