I'm currently running on Auto-pilot (cause of my system drizzled with energy drink) while in hopes that I'll be able to finish the video proper of the project I'm currently doing for Ignite 2013 with only two days left before the conference. But, apparently, the design I'm currently working on needs to be revised so that it will suit their liking so, I've to move my working schedule and start doing the revisions so I could start to the video proper immediately. The design got changed at around 2 am and I believe it's a huge mistake taking that energy drink. Scares me in a lot of areas, why haven't I learned my lessons when I drank a bottle way back in my Senior Years in College?

With eyes welling up with the recent design changes which also means doubling up time in recreating designs, I tried to give myself a chance to have a two-hour sleep so I could allow myself to recuperate and be much more able to do the tasks. I was wrong.

In the midst of trying to sleep, the frustration of the dawning deadline in my horizon, the unwanted zombie feeling of energy drinks, and myself in the brink of crying my heart out, the neighbor's cat started wailing. And just when I'm about to have my much awaited sleep, the villain howled louder. Covering my ears, I tried to fall into sleep but much to my dismay, I keep getting the surface, disturbed ones, which creeps me out.

Starting to feel really down and unwell, I got up at around 5:30 this morning (no sleep, tired, and nearing the morning cranky attack) and started talking to my mom to pass time (which by the way, doesn't have any idea that I haven't got any sleep yet) since she's already up preparing for work. Dragged myself after some minutes to finish the designs but I don't really like to move yet so I went back to bed and decided to go with my morning devotions, instead.

Running low on energy, feeling like a zombie, and really low, I read today's passage and much to my surprise, it's entitled "Decide To Be Positive", in this exact moment when I feel really negative about things. Oops, cranky side showing up around the corners. Philippians 4:8, the passage for this day, says

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.". 

Another passage I read says, (Psalms 25:14)

"The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant."

I am seriously bawling the moment I finished reading and with a thankful heart, I started praying and poured my heart out including all the concerns I have (things that's been bothering me, things that worries me, my prayer requests, etc.)

I felt good when I finished my prayer, feeling His arms cradling me and finally feeling the comfort after all of the things that's been bothering me. It feels great having a father who knows exactly what you need. and considering how heavy the past days had been and how he constantly reminded me of His unfailing love and promises. Gaaaah, I feel so much loved, spoiled, and undeserving of this awesome love from Him.

And now to wait for sleep to greet my eyes even for 30 minutes. It will be a long day, indeed.

Sometimes, all you need is a dose of sibling love. Here's me and TK, being gentlemen for a while.

I promised to blog about my escapades in Ilocos and it took a longer time for me to formulate this post due to preparations and more surprises brought about of my memorable experience as a participant of Victory Weekend (FREEDOM!!!!), which I will discuss on the next post. But yes, let me make up to you by creating this post just as I've promised. And with that, I bring you, The Ilocos Escapades (Just because it took me five years or more to go back home to where my mom grew up!).

March 20 (that's a Wednesday), even though I am feeling hesitant, I packed my things and got some things ready for the trip to Candon, Ilocos Sur. My mother's attending her High School Reunion (Hoorah, Saint Joseph Institute Batch '78!) and she's tagging me along because I've been wishing out loud to her if I could earn a trip to the province (much for a Lolo's girl, a farm girl, and an adventurous one!). And later on, utilized as the Batch Photographer.

Chance passengers as they call us, since most of the seats are already booked, I prayed hard that we'll be able to avail two seats so my mom could join their batch's gimmicks. At almost ten in the evening, my dad hailed us with the conductor assuring two seats, kissed us, and wished us a happy trip. And so it has started. I woke up at 4:45am, seeing that we're near our destination. Nothing beats a good breakfast in one of my favorite place. My mom's place in Candon, Ilocos Sur with freshly-baked pandesal, surrounded by your relatives. Life is made sweeter by God.

I rested on the first day, almost waited the entire time for my next generation cousins and nephews and nieces to crash the house but found them scattered in different places so I spent the day sleeping. I still can't believe that I can hardly feel the generation of cousins I'm in. Most of them moved to Isabela and some of them are, either married, working, or in college. I miss spending days with them. To the beach in the morning, town by lunch, and someone else's house by the afternoon until what time. You miss climbing trees with them, eating the fruits you harvested with them, eating meals with them, turning the entire compound upside down with them, sleep-overs with them, (admit it) everything with them! I wish we could have that time to be together once again, hoping our schedules match. It's just different dealing with the younger ones.

So, I tagged along the next days. Went on a parade, mass led by their batch mate, meals with them, and intro 101 with different people including their sons and daughters who tagged along with them, too. I spent most of the time listening and observing them. Seeing their smiles, the sound of their laughter, their tight hugs and fist-bumps, I kept on thanking God for granting me the opportunity to witness this reunion. Seeing them turning from the golden aged ones to their high school self, you can almost guess who belonged to a particular circle of friends (the rich kids, brainy ones, jokers, mischief seekers, middle dwellers, and the silent). It was one of a kind, touching, seeing them reunite and remember the good old days. And yes, I also laughed with them with their jokes and reminiscing mischiefs done years ago. The perks of learning the dialect (Ilocano)! Thank you, dear parents!

What I remember the most is our trip further North. It's like a grown up field trip/tour. Though we get to stay to the destinations in a span of five to fifteen minutes, I enjoyed it a lot since we're able to visit a lot of places (with the perks of visiting old churches and seeing the inside structure, which is my exactly my thing! Yey! The awesome perks!).

We passed by: (The Church List!)

• St. John de Sahagun Church of Candon
• Apo Caridad (Bantay, Ilocos Sur) 
• Sinait Church 
• Church of Paoay
• Cathedral of Vigan 

• We had breakfast in Laoag 
• Walked to see the Kapurpurawan Rock Formation 
• Got blown away with the Windmills of Bangui 
• Had lunch at the shores of Pagudpud
• Got amazed with the Winding Patapat Bridge (it connects Pagudpud to Cagayan. You can almost see Batanes here!)
• Enjoyed the cold, refreshing water of the Kalbario Patapat National Park's spring

The Big Old Tree near my Lola's. Favorite!

St. John de Sahagun's (Candon) Ceiling

St. John de Sahagun (Candon) getting ready for Palm Sunday

Confession

Apo Caridad (Bantay)

Façade of Apo Caridad (Bantay)

Bantay Church Bell Tower

Devotee in the morning

Sinait!

Sinait Church in sunrise

Hello there, little girl!

I am happy and sad at the same time to be back in my own lair here in Manila. Happy, to be back in my own room (that clingy with my own bed, I guess?) and spend time with my family and pets. Sad, to leave the province which took years for me to come visit again. I had so much fun that the immediate plans of going back to Manila doesn't seem true to me not until I am sitting in that bus seat by the window.

Yes, I will post my escapades here, soon. Just let me take the time for now, to rest and contemplate further about the Lord's sacrifice at the cross. Pretty excited with Easter Sunday, tomorrow, too!

And by the way, taking anti-histamines hours before your night travel works wonders (if you are the type who doesn't want to get bothered by stop-overs or the fast driving, etc. and just into having a good sleep while on the road). I tried it for the first time after another allergy attack. Or course, it does not apply to those who will drive the vehicle used for the travel!

There are days when you feel like, just writing continuously until you start to feel lighter (or empty). And I believe that this day is one of them.

On my way home from a meeting, I had the opportunity to think about things and realize some. It feels awkward and weird. I realized in this particular day in my life that there are some things that I am starting to forget:

• That feeling of dealing with a great group in brainstorming. I know, I am also considering the fact that I really have no background with the event and yes I know, that it is not an acceptable reason. Note to self: do your homework. Remember to research in advance.
• Exercising the creative side. Huhu, it's starting to gain a lot of weight, the veins getting clogged and it's starting to have the difficulty of walking/running/doing activities. I'm such a bad parent. Huhu.
• Talking to people.
• Etc. Etc. Etc.

I'm surprisingly still up until this wee hours of the early morning and it's 5:22 am to be exact. I just had that one hour sleep from 2-3am which has never returned yet. And as I listen to the keys being tapped by my fingertips, I am currently wondering if the race has finally started. Sighs.

I've been too giddy last night as me and my sister took our way home. I am all set to join the fun run and hopefully, cross an item on my bucket list (start and finish a run. No cheating!). 

Oh, but here comes the surprise! I never thought that my immune system would react to the extra chocolate shot on that hot fudge I had with TK and Mariela last night. Yes, ze once in a century food reaction/allergy attacked, hence the one hour sleep and the series of unfortunate scratching (at least no blowing up/ballooning body parts, redness). And since I got really ticked off by the feeling and I really can't get back sleep, I decided to take antihistamines at 3 am and decided to sadly cancel pushing through with the run. I guess I just have to wait for another chance. I wouldn't want to feel really sleepy while running, of course. Or feel that zombie-like feeling I experienced when I got early morning attacks last time (took the meds, hopped to the event in the morning, helped setting up at the church by afternoon equals me being super sleepy on my way home and eventually passing out the moment I felt my bed under my palms) later on our seminar plus general assembly at the church.

I guess I am just finding an outlet for these sudden happenings. And now I am waiting for the glorious sleep to come while wondering if the race has officially started. I hope my parents would do great (Go Mom and Dad! Wooooh!).

And I'm craving for Ramen.

It's been a long time since I last written a blog entry and I felt like once again, depriving my own self of my long time channel of ideas which is writing to be exact. And with the weeks of not writing, a lot of things has happened and I say, I am overwhelmed with everything. I could clearly see God's love with all the things that happened, I just find myself there high above the clouds, so amazed with His love for me and the wonders He could do. I am way beyond thankful, I have no other words to say but "Thank You" and "I love you!".

And so, let's start enumerating them.

1. Doughnut's finally home, clear from Parvovirus and other infections. He stayed at the hospital for  only three days (from the calculated five), all hyper and happy. He's now finished with all his serum shots and we're just returning to the vet for the follow-up shots and check up. He's growing this fondness with my house slippers, he carries it away from me every time. He'd grown this trauma with needles just like me and is now sleeping peacefully beside me.
   
   

   Here's Doughnut with his manly eyebrows

2. My skin's starting to improve!
3. I've been attending the youth service at Victory Malate for consecutive weeks now and their Instalove series has helped me remember the things I've learned about love from the past experience that I had. Also, the Will You series and Date Talk helped tons, too, learning, unlearning things in love, courtship, and marriage.
4. New friends, new acquaintance.
5. Joined a new ministry (hello, Production Design people!) and became an apprentice in the Scribes group. Big leap indeed.                  

Production Design with Ptr. Rodel Buban

6. Our tito from mom's side came home and found the comfort with me and my sister, he started to open up with us about how his heart is currently broken. I was touched by this gesture that we of course, lifted up his situation to God and we prayed for him. You see, it's been a long time since we've seen each other since he's working overseas. He's helped us especially me with my College (Happy's the best 18th birthday gift! Wouldn't survive editings, papers, etc. if not with him). Such a wonderful opportunity to share God and his love with your family. The three of us were so overwhelmed that the prayer ended with wet eyes and much sniffing with my Tito feeling better.
7. I was given another opportunity to be part of the Superbook team. I was blessed to be part of the face painting team once more and I just couldn't fully express the joy I felt from seeing those little children, attending the re-introduction of your childhood favorite show, seating in front of you with their cheeks and tiny hands ready for you to paint on. It's amazing that these children will have that opportunity to know God more the way I learned about Him and the characters in the Bible before. It's also touching to see these children run to their parents/guardians, happily showing the characters/critters/Superbook characters that's painted to them, wondering if they could come back again later for another set of painting. I also heard from my mom after a couple of days that some children still has face paint on them the next day (the event happened on a Saturday and the children went to church the next day). I love Superbook and I would gladly do some more face painting, given another opportunity. This is my third time, yey!
   
   

   "Would you like to have the old Gizmo or the new one?" Last time, I was the Lorax.. Now, I painted a bunny.

And there's so much more to add but I believe that it will take more posts for that to be fully narrated. I know that these are just small things to others but it really means a lot to me. I believe that I'm in the season of reconstruction right now and these things that has happened really showed me that indeed, I still have a lot of rooms in my life to rebuild and more to improve. That truly without God, I'll be lost and will stay clueless on how to approach things when it comes to us. And with overflowing joy, I share this post to you in hopes that it will help in some points. You might feel lost and neglected right now but if you truly let God do his wonders and plans in your life, you'll never know, maybe you'll experience more than what I've enumerated here.